The “News”

So here’s the headlines.

  • Jonathan Brand and Russel Ross condemned by several more people for saying naughty words over the wireless and being mean to a retired actor.
  • More absurd economic calamity, as it is now revealed that money is a man-made concept and thus in itself valueless!
  • Train prices are due to go up in order to help fund declining quality and service.
  • Famous musician-actor-writer dies prematurely.
  • American President Elect Barrack H. Obama is made of chocolate and rainbows and shits exploding porcelain eggs which hatch phoenixes.
  • There’s some wars happening somewhere.
  • Also, thousands upon thousands of people in foreign countries are dying.

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